Rainbow -
I wish I had some brilliant insight for you, but I have my own email issues that I'm still trying to figure out!!

I do want to thank you, though, because your post made me realize something about my own relationship with my T. I have the exact opposite problem from you. I'm so stuck on the fact that my T is my T and that I'm paying her to provide a service, that I struggle to email her even when encouraged to do so. I don't consider her a friend (although there are times I wish she were) and so I have a hard time relating to her as anything other than a business arrangement. It's a weird business arrangement, because I trust her so much and share so much, but the only time I feel okay doing that is during our actual session - when I'm paying for my T's service. I don't feel like it's appropriate to do so outside of our regular sessions. There have been times I've felt a really deep connection to her, but that was always during session, and I struggle to carry that feeling outside of her office (but it always comes back when I set foot in her office). I hadn't really made that connection until reading your post!

I wish there were some way to find a happy medium for both of us! I wish I could move a bit towards your end of the spectrum, and I wish you could move a bit towards my end!

Now that I've had this realization, though, I fully intend to write it in my journal so I can talk to my T about it next week.