Hi everyone. I'm new. I don't know if I'm allowed to post on here without permission or something so if I'm doing wrong please tell me, cause if you don't know you never will. I've been coming here for a few days looking for people to talk to. I was sexually abused by my own father and other men from the age of 4 to 16. I havn't got any professional help to deal with it.. I guess I'm scared cause I know its made me a different person. I'm scared of being drugged up and stuff. I kept a diary of my abuse from almost the start. I have these strange feelings all the time, some too shamefull to admit to anyone. My mother hates me completely, she's told me to my face she wishes I was never born. Its made me sick, you know i constantly seek out daddy/daughter roleplay. I seek out a lot more. I have 2 children, 3 and 6, both boys. I would never touch them but I'm scared that if i tell someone abotu me they'll take them off me for what i seek out. I try to stop myself and try to be 'normal' and do 'normal' sexual things but I always go back to my fantasies, well in my head anyway. I recently met a man online, havn't met him for real yet. I'm so scared. He's made me completely nuts to the point i can't stop thinking about things. Anyway I've posted enough, I'm sure I shouldn't be saying this on here. Sorry if I offended.