Hi everyone,
I need to let this out, hopefully someone is listening, I can say I had a hard life (not as in a bad boy, that every girl looks for), but in a emotinal, physical, and psychological aspect. I was raised in a family, who where not really my family, my father was an alcoholic and was never around, my mother (forgive my speech was a *&^, she was more intersted in letting another man into her life, instead of her children. Eventually, my parents would get in a divorce, (that would just #$%@ up my life).Before my parents were divorced, as a child I always felt different, that their was something wrong in my life, I was always being miss treated by my mom, to this day i could rememebr the things my mom would say and do to me. As they divorced, we moved to another state, I found out that I was adopted at the age of 12, at that instant i was transformed, to a rebelious teenager. Through all my life I never had an emotional comfort, I never felt loved. Especially by my mom the person I needed most.
I believe that is my struggle till this day, maybe that why I dont know how to have a relationship. Through all my life I just wanted to be loved and when I do receive it, I dont accept it, because I feel that I dont desreve it. Im 33 old, and I feel that I havent had the experience like i should, I feel that somewhere in life I was roobed of my life, and know I have a big gap, that know Im trying to make up.
As I got older I realized alot of thing in my life, but I dont want to hurt anyone in my life, emotinally, people do not understand what i have been through. I have more to say about me and I hope I can finally have some one to listen to me and actually care about me. Please tell me Im doing the right thing. And if so I need some advise. thank you