He holds my face down
and lets his weigth go down on me
i can't breath nor set myself free..
i want to die want him to stop
as he whispers in my ear devilish words..
"you know you like it...i know you do"
I start to fade into a world unseen by others
as i stare at my own body from above
as he continues, silents cries scream through the room
he doesn't care he doesn't stop
as i fight with all my might
he sends painful reminders of whose in charge
blood drips from his lips as the unheard words slip through...
the room becomes still
"i'm done" he says
as he slowly takes his hand off the back of my neck
when he leans in for the last time toward you that night
"good boy....good boy...you did good tonight...now tell me you liked it"
as i stutter the words tears roll down my face
as he exits he looks back
he throws a kiss
it hits me like a missle as i coward in the sheets
no one knows, for the silent suffering of a child
when the innocence is taken from them
and are left like empty vessels that are later filled with anger and destruction
the fear is never far away but right beside me
i may be a man now but still feel like that child who suffered silently....

I guess I'm slowly seeing that if i write down parts of my abuse in this type of way it helps me vent and actually feel better and relieved.
Just thought i'd share the advice. It's working for me, and it's my first time i ever wrote something like this about my abuse.

not needing replies just trying to vent and let some emotions out.