part iv:

my partner and i happened to get into a big fight last night. i was already worn out from the therapy session, so i really didn't have the mental energy to deal with it. i decided to walk the two miles home from where we were, in order to clear my head and cool off. a few blocks into the walk though, i started feeling overwhelmed with emotion and i decided to give my therapist a call. it didn't take her too long to call me back, but the whole time i was wondering if she was on the phone with my partner - we share the same therapist (as if this story isn't complicated enough).

when we talked, she seemed kind of blah. she listened to what i had to say, made a few comments, but she didn't seem all that into it. then she mentioned something about my insurance (something she had taken care of earlier in the day) that she needed to tell me. she added that she'd be on the road tomorrow (today), but that she'd be checking her voicemail - partially to stay on top of the insurance thing, and partially if i (or any of her other clients, i'm sure) needed to call. since she mentioned it, i said, "drive safe" and then a few seconds later, "take care." she didn't really acknowledge either thing, which is hurtful as "take care" has always been the thing that we almost always say to each other (at the end of phone calls and sessions). it's like an extra nice way of saying goodbye, and i've come to sort of "count" on it.