today i watched short movie on how people are threatened into being consumers in capitalist nations (most of the world).

as i sat there looking at my laptop in my schools hallway, i sort of lost myself in some thought plane and it was all clear to me. this life we know is not at all conducive to proper human progression, not the emotions we feel for one another, not the interactions humans have, not the mentality. what are we afraid of, eachother.
there is no fear but that which is brought upon ourselves by ourselves from each other, this is a product of capitalism.

the film hosted a man who was captivated by the "inspiration of simplicity," caveman lifestyle.

this life is insane, i am not. this society is forcing people to act a certain way, and when someone like me just cant stomach it then i lose my head because its like not knowing how to be real. what is real? is it the tv i watch, the shoes i wear, the car i drive, what does any of that matter?

do i need drugs to allow me to be "happy" all the time with these people who dont understand who they are and what they serve.

why would i work just to die when an egalitarian society without hatred and regression would offer true insight.

this is what im trying to grasp with.