I'm bumping this thread up bc I simply don't have the mental energy to write about it again. I have done very well over the past few years. No "true" episodes have put me in the ER for quite awhile -- until this past weekend.

And it was true to form, happening when I have positive stress (ie. going for a long reunion weekend with my best friends in the world). Positive stress (happiness excitement) seems to always be my most consistent trigger. Although, colds and allergies trigger episodes too, it would always ruin my anticipated vacays or other fun things for me.

I have been feeling more nauseous over time recently and it is getting worse each day. My anxiety levels are climbing so quickly bc I am so terrrified that I am about to enter the pattern I was in before of becoming hospitalized 5 days every month, and sick sick sick on the days between.

I have a new job. I am actually practicing veterinary medicine now for the past six months. I changed jobs because I felt like the vomiting was behind me and I could move on and do what I intended to do with my life. I wanted this so much. I am loving it, but at the same time the circumstances are making things so very stressful for me! I am worried that this stress is sending me back down that road again.

They stopped my episode in the ER the other night after 8 hours of DEEP sedation. It took two tries on the protocol before things worked.

I feel like I did before. I am terrified. TERRIFIED!

And my wonderful, supportive husband is trying desperately to find work for himself, but we are having terrible luck. It's all on me... so I have to hang on.

I haven't visited here in awhile. Unless there are new members that have CVS that I am unaware of, I am the only one here.

I just needed to vent how very terrified I am. I have had 3 full blown panic attacks today, and I refuse to take another Klonopin, I have already had 2 mgs today.