It is mind bending thinking of the tone, the texture, all the different aspects of people's depression. I tend to feel like you, just nothing at all. When I went into the hosptial the last time, I was crying and crying, yet I reported not feeling depressed, and they demanded why do I say I'm not depressed, yet crying? It was a cleansing process, my tears. I have a hard time admitting depression because for me the tone and texture is so different. How would other people describe their depression? Mine is like a movie that is only black and white, although it does have some hints of color.