wolfsong - You're absolutely right! Wow, what a great way to look at it, thank you for presenting what I said that way.

Yes, I was abused as a child. Sexually by my own father, brother and a step-brother. My father beat my mom in front of me and eventually left us. Then he was murdered when I was about 6 or 7. My grandma lived with us all of my life and she was a belligerent alcoholic. Then during my entire adult life, my mom has been an alcoholic and prescription drug addict. I haven't spoken to her in 2-3 yrs.

My ex-husband and I were together for almost 13 years. He never physically abused me, not verbally either, but he constantly abandoned me when I needed him. The top 3 worst times: He had an affair for the first 3 years of our marriage, left me alone when my grandma was dying, left me alone when I was having a miscarriage. The last thing was when I told him we should separate, he didn't put up any kind of fight and made no effort to change anything. Less than 2 months after I moved out he already had a new girlfriend.

So, yeah, it's fair to say I have some abandonment issues.