((( SJ )))

It sounds like a very good discussion with your pdoc. Sometimes it helps to kind of start from scratch with a general description of what you feel inside. But yeah, whatever it is, depression or otherwise, it's awful that you feel it. I don't hate my life at all, but you and I started out with the same advantages/disadvantages as anyone else. Something IS happening inside your body that makes you feel so awful -- there is no doubt. It's just not right that you should hate your life and yourself and feel nothing positive. Life doesn't have to be so bad, and I'm so sad that it is that way for you