Quote:
Originally Posted by dizgirl2011
Maybe when you are feeling low about her email response think of this and how she held your hand and was there for you. Many therapists won't even do this. My therapist never touches me by holding my hand, a hug, or even a pat on the back - nothing, even though she knows I crave it because I think shes worried it will make me feel even more for her than I do attachment and dependancy wise. I don't think dependancy from clients seems to be as feared in the usa than it is here in the uk but I could be wrong.
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Recently, my T quit giving me hugs in part for the same reason your T never touches you. Because she felt I had, due to my borderline, attached undue importance and intensity to the hugs.....which actually in truth I had done and had gotten way attached to her. It was a huge rupture and hurt badly.....still hurts.
And yet they were so helpful to me and I miss them greatly......but the fact is they're gone forever because T feels it's best for me and for my therapy not to have them. I respect her but feel like she is wrong to say 'never' and it is more hurtful than not in the long run to do it this way........although I do see that without touch at all I have been able to focus better on therapy because I don't feel as attached to her herself.....But I think it would still be OK to have them again someday. Ah well, so as rainbow goes through this struggle with her email/attachment to T/reality of t relationship, it reminds me of my struggle to accept the no-hugs forever policy (although that feels like way too black and white thinking on her part!) and the reality of my own T relationship.