I think your feelings are completely reasonable. You had an established routine that involved a safe outlet for everything and it was taken away with no warning. I don't think it's dumb at all. Sometimes I have a hard time even if T is just on a pre-scheduled vacation.
The only errors in your thinking that I see...trying to be honest.. the fear she will never come back, the thought that she abandoned you, that she doesn't care, and that you can't trust her.
I think the feelings associated with those thoughts are completely normal in this situation, but I would question the actual thoughts. Maybe reassure yourself that she will be back, she does still care, you can still trust her...
Sorry you're dealing with this right now, especially with all the situational stress you're experiencing. Keep holding on, you are in my thoughts!