Jasie,

I'm amazed at how much you sound like me--I struggle with almost all the same issues you described from my complex PTSD. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I know it's miserable.

I did get some relief from EMDR. I had a good therapist who was really gentle and would stop immediately if I was feeling overwhelmed. Before I did ECT, I was never even able to acknowledge the abuse, let alone talk about it.

As for some of the associated symptoms, I've actually gotten a lot out of ECT, particularly for depression, suicidality, ED, and self-harm. I know it's extreme, and I wouldn't recommend it unless you've worn out all your med options, which was what happened to me--I've been on everything, and nothing worked. I really believe ECT has saved my life.

As far as talk therapy goes, I've gotten the most out of psychoanalytic/psychodynamic therapy. I have an EXCELLENT therapist who has a ton of experience working with people with trauma, and therapy with her is what keeps me going with at least some semblance of sanity.

This is just what's worked/working for me, and I certainly can't promise it would work the same for me. Mostly I wanted you to know you're not alone in what you're dealing with, and there is hope of things getting better.