Your feelings are real and valid. There is an internal reason why you are feeling these big emotions and fears.

The TRUTH is that your T is doing what is right for you and her both. In order to help you out, she has to help out herself. Think about your husband... when he comes down with a bad cold, how does he act? Is he a bit snappy to you? ((Most people are when they get ill because that is human nature)). Say he pushed through and went on to work with his clients and one of them was very sensitive due to tons of abuse or PTSD or whatever the situation. He is NOT going to be the same T they know. Chances are very good that they will take the change as a personal insult. Something is wrong with them. T hates them now.

It is up to the T to clearly tell a client "Hey, I am exhausted. I am sick. I need to take a vacation." The T is saying "In order for me to serve you, I have to recover my own energy. I have to be well."

A good T will do what your T is doing by taking a break in order to heal.

Now it is still OK for you to miss your T. It is ok for you to be upset. I know when my T does have to cancel, I don't like it one bit! It makes me upset. But he is doing the right thing. But I am still allowed my little-kid emotions. :-)

Keep feeling what you are feeling. Don't think of yourself as doing anything wrong because that is not the case. Just realize that the adult facts of the situation still apply.