And why would soldiers think it's hard to love a soldier ... because we know what we're really like on the inside. We learn to cover the things we know are not acceptable. We learn how to "act" happy. We learn how to go along with the crowd. But on the inside, we know we are not what others see. If they knew us they would hate us, not love us.

Most of us learn how to cover the ptsd. People who know me would comment how well I adjusted to combat wounds and returning from war. They do not know the energy it takes to stay under cover. "He's a nice guy," they'd say. I hear it often. And it crosses my mind each time, "if you only knew."