Went to a church house group meeting on Wednesday. The way it was set up was that it was led by one member on a topical issue of their choosing. The idea was that we discussed this issue from a Christian perspective. Well, the issue they chose was assisted suicide and it triggered me REALLY badly, on all sorts of levels. I can't seem to get out of that state now. I have talked to my pastor and his wife and they have been great, but it is like my thoughts are going round and round in circles. There is fear that some might judge me if they knew I was in a similar state previously, hurt for the people in the cases we were discussing, anger at being "ambushed" by this and all sorts of other thoughts and feelings. I feel myself spiralling down. I can't talk to my counsellor because we have stopped sessions until I have seen the psychologists at the hospital. It was portrayed as so black and white. I'm frustrated with myself because I tried to explain that there was more to the issue than they were putting forward, but I couldn't argue strongly enough so shut up. And I feel scared about going back to another meeting - I've only just started going back anyway and now it doesn't feel safe.