Thank you for posting. It helps others to know they are not alone.

Just so you know, seeking help does not mean you have to take meds. Sometimes they can help, but from what I understand, you cannot be forced to take them unless you got in a legal problem so that you were court ordered to do so.

"Strange feelings" that feel shameful and trying to recreate the abuse through fantasy and/or role play are normal reactions to abuse as your mind tries to make sense of what happened to you. These are not reasons why someone should take your children from you. In fact, a counselor should admire your courage in seeking help for such a difficult issue--and I would advise you to seek help, since you are concerned about your reactions, and a therapist can help you deal with them more productively.