Bama:
Sorry to hear about your situation. That is awful. I know you have received lots of advice about leaving and going to a shelter, but if want to remain alive, you have to.
I was in a relationship with a guy who had BPD like I do. He was emotionally abusive to me, then became physically abusive. Nowhere near the extent of what you are going through, but he was physically abusive, and it escalated. Finally, I got the strength to end things with him. He packed several bags and left the house. I thought he was gone (except to get his furniture) but no. He was simply taking a day or so to get drunk and premeditate my murder. He came back in the middle of the night and nearly killed me in the middle of the night while I was asleep.
Now, I understand how it is to feel like you have nowhere to run to. We were living in Australia at the time (where he is from) and I had NOWHERE to go. Literally nowhere. I just ran from the house, and total strangers helped me.
You can get out of there. I'm sure you know this, but once the abuse starts, it rarely if ever ends. Please be careful and don't stay with him. Good Luck to you.
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