I will share my experience with diagnosis with you.
I entered into psychotherapy with a psychotherapist I chose by asksing for a referral from the psychoanalytic institute near me. I wanted that kind of therapy. I also like to read a lot and after being in therapy for a while, I read books about Borderline Personality Disorder and thought that it fit me. I asked my therapist what she thought. She told me that she'd thought very early on that BPD fit me. But she didn't share it with me for 2 reasons.
One is that my former T, right before this one, slapped a diagnosis on me that I felt was not me and I was shocked at the abuptness of her doing that and by the diagnosis she was offering. I told my current T that I felt bombarded with that diagnosis; so she did not want to do that to me by presenting a different diganosis, and that one in particular.
Secondly, she says she encourages her patients to not get hung up in the diagnosis. It is a label, a brief way to describe many things.

She has never referred to the diagnosis again. My therapy isn't about how I fit the label, it is just about me and my difficulties and about learning more about myself.



P.S. I am excited to see you have a Pema Chodron quote