Thanks everyone- it really means a lot to me and it makes me feel better that I have support here. I have tried to tell my parents and they don't see the situation how I do. I get it, we all have different perspectives and yes, mine happens to be a bit more pessimistic than most. When I tell them about my suicidal thoughts, they threaten to take me to the hospital and that scares me. I plan on telling them in two weeks. My reasons for waiting are so that I can finish my AP/IB testing for the year with as little issues with my parents as possible. Also, I am part of a youth group and I am planning on running for president of my chapter. My youth group is pretty much the only outlet in my life that I find happiness from. And lastly, I want to see if within these next two weeks if I can stop cutting.

I think I am going to try going to the gym again. I know that I felt really good after it so thanks for the advice on that In regards to therapy- it is an individual private psychologist and I don't think she is affiliated with a hospital. I could probably look into further treatment if that is what I needed to do. I would like to try going more than once a week, but it is hard for me to get in to see her and I often find myself scared to tell her the complete truth.

I really want to thank all of 'yall for the support. It means so much to me and I hope that I can find some comfort from this site And I PROMISE to try my best to not resort to cutting