first of all...

kudos to you for being brave enough to ask for help.

I am from canada and I dont really have a whole lot of options for resources but I just want to tell you that you are SO not alone.

All of us here understand the red tape, the frustration, and the mental symptoms that we all struggle with..

Please try and remember that if you are in immediate danger, go to somewheres where you can be safe, even if it means going to the hospital knowing they may discharge you.

Do you have a Therapist currently?

Do you have any support people in your life that you can have help you out in this difficult time?

I send love, if its safe for you to take it.