Quote:
Originally Posted by hardtimes101
My T NEVER touches me. She has only asked to hug me once ever. I think I must repulse her. If she would do those things for me, I know I would heal and I would feel like someone cared. But instead I feel like a freak, someone nobody could hug, touch or sit on the couch by and hold them. I have actually completely fell apart on the couch, like uncontroable crying to the point where as you try to stop you stop breathing and the crying starts coming out in like a convusive way, and my T....She back away and watched me cry. I felt very alone that day. And it's been the same since. I wish I could have someone that would wrap their arms around me and tell me it's going to be ok, they care about me and they are not going anywhere. Instead I feel like they want the first plane ticket out of that room. They watch the clock to see when the pain of being in the room with me will pass.
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Hi hardtimes101,
I'v seen several Ts and none have made any physical contact; but I have always been aware that that is for professional reasons. Still, I have never had anyone 'back away' when I'v expressed emotion - through uncontrollable crying, or in any other way. They are meant to be trained in handling emotion and if they cant they should find another job! If you have experienced this attitude from her over several weeks then perhaps you should consider seeing someone else, perhaps someone with more experience? I believe a T should be able to make you feel like they are holding you - though physically they are not. In depressive episodes I have very similar thoughts to yours - that I am repulsive, a freak, diseased etc. When my mood stabilises and I feel more integrated these thoughts dissipate. My T helps by just making it seem obvious that they are absurd. He is respectful, playful and caring - though he is a man, and not at all effeminate, I do, like others here, often wish he was my mother! I hope you find someone with better skills,
and until then
