wow, salt, sounds as if you're in between a rock and a hard spot right now. i live alone and can't relate to an SO observing me when i'm having an episode, but i can imagine how hurt and alone you would feel. it does sound as though the SO is very frightened for you and just doesn't know what to do. can you find a simple book on BP and ask him to read it. or a website? he probably truly doesn't now what to say. oxoxoxo pat