Hey there.... I don't really have solutions, but I can certainly empathize. I've been there- very recently, and just starting to wade out of that dark place. All I can offer is hugs and prayers as you make your way to the "other side" of the crappy stuff. But I can testify that the "other side" does indeed exist, and you're on your way to better things- even if that's hard to see from there. <3