thank you to everyone. i suppose i do need to start looking in the right places for people to lean on and shoulders to cry on. thank you for being so compassionate. that's all i really needed. i just worry now that a line has been crossed with my two friends that we may not be able to cross back over, and have things be semi-normal again. i wish i could talk more about it here, but i'm afraid i'd be hogging all of the support. the whole thing's pretty immature anyway, but it's obviously something i need to work through. thank you all again.