I've often said that I feel as if I've been ill for so long that I don't know who I am. BP robbed me of an identity by rearing it's ugly head when I was supposed to be "finding myself". I feel like I'm a different person depending on my mood. It's something I've learned to live with by trying to define myself by the person I am at my baseline, and working on that person. I can't explain it well, either.