in a perfect scenario, what would you want to happen? that would be the question i'd ask myself, and try to figure out if it's even possible.

so, best case, you don't tell her beforehand (because it seems you don't want to), she sees you at the event, greets you warmly, and invites you to join her and the rest of her family and family to view the artwork. you offer comments, thoughts, and opinions on the art, she does the same, and you get to know her better on a personal level. you also share a drink and a laugh, and leave feeling like it was a total success.

it might also be helpful to think of the worst-case scenario..