This is really interesting to read about. Along with all the other suggestions, I would ask yourself...............what do you have to gain vs. lose? What are the benefits/risks of both going vs. not going? Try to figure out your motivations. One more thing to consider(definitely bring up with your T that you WANTED to go, whether you do or not) do you have a great rapport with your T? If you do, I would not do ANYTHING that would risk ruining that. Everyone always talks about how clients need to trust their Ts and that's true, but there is a certain amount of trust your T places in you, especially if she is self-disclosing. Do you want to risk ruining that? I would not do anything that would risk ruining the relationship I have with my T, not intentionally anyway. And I really like the idea of maintaining the imagery that your T is for you and you alone. That is powerful. Another thing to think about..........are you unconsciously trying to sabotage any progress you have made with your T because you are afraid of the pain or afraid to change? Just a thought. By the way, I don't think you are a stalker.