Todays session was awful and I have just managed to stop myself crying, even though that alone is awful difficult.

Basically I felt really judged, my therapist keeps sending me mixed messages - one minute we are ending, then we arent and i feel safe, then we are. Then its ok to contact between sessions, no its not, its just everything, even the things i thought i was doing well feel like they have been shot to hell and I feel like I cant even contact her now between sessions because she has made me feel like i shouldnt anymore, even though i barely ever did in the first place...*heres the tears again*.

I tried to tell her how I felt but it didnt really matter she had her own view which didnt make sense to me and it feels like everything is ruined and I hate her and i hate myself for ever bothering to do the right things