One thing I didn't see in there was "pride" and denying the problem. It has to be hard to be a parent with an alcoholic child and thinking it could be your "fault" or that your child might be flawed in some way, etc. My brother was an alcoholic and I remember my father exclaiming to my stepmother after something she said, "So-and-so is not stupid!" and my instant rejoinder, "Then why does he act that way?!" We weren't enabling him but were visiting him in a care facility and he did do well and hasn't had a drink in 30+ years, etc. but it does make me wonder at the possibility of blind, "he doesn't really have a problem" like the alcoholic himself might have just because it doesn't fit with the non-alcoholic friend's/family member's view of themselves and who they know/hang with! I think part of practicing "tough love" can also sometimes be the necessity of re-evaluating one's self.