I know it is VERY very hard to go through this! But-- I promise you it DOES get better as you heal. It really does. I am not sure how to describe it... as you heal, as you get older, as you get more comfortable with your SELF.... you will be more comfortable keeping yourself company, without needing others to fill in that "gap" that you are using your T to fill in for you. When we get very attached to our Ts, they are usually meeting some long-unmet need that we have (love, acceptance, attachment, attention, whatever) And thats a good thing. We're all made to need those things and its ok to get them from other people for a time like a therapist and friends and family . But eventually as we get older, wiser, etc, we learn--we really do-- we learn to get those things we need from ourselves a lot.
I used to NEVER EVER be able to stand to be alone. It was unbearable to me. I had to have people around me all the time. If I was alone, I had to have the tv on, music on, and be reading a book or doing something busy. Couldn't stand to be alone with myself. I was bad company even to me! But now I've gotten comfortable with myself, and I can meet a lot of my needs on my own. I can hang out alone in a quiet room for a long period of time and just keep myself company. Does that make sense? It won't always be so bad and you won't always have such a dependency or transference thing going on. Promise!