I'm sorry you are going through this. and it defiently put in the middle of the situation with your husband and daughter. Would your daughter be agreeable to talking with a therapist? Is there any chance she has alot of anger and resentment built because of her bological father and she is taking it out on her step-dad and you. (I thought of this because when my parents got divorced, my sister and I were terribly mean to eachother, constantly fighting/bickering about the stupidist *****, and not till years later, I realized (while in therapy) that we both held so much emotions in when my parents got divorced, the only way we could let it out was take it out on eachother.)