I was just thinking some more. Uh OH, lol,

If I can see it and I can pinpoint every time it showed up in my daughter, how come someone else can't see it? I knew what I was seeing when my daughter's horse died in her lap, how she lost her umpth degree that day. How I had to work my butt off to get it back for her. I knew what I was seeing when she took pride in out drinking others at some party I had in my back yard where, by the way no liquor was provided or allowed. But I saw it.

I fought really hard for my child, I knew every time that umpth degree was in jeopardy that I had to work really hard at putting it back there. I saw it in my husband and I see it now. I lived it yesterday and this weekend.
I can see how my husband has to have that kitchen counter cleaned to his umph degree and how he has to direct me while I am driving to the upmth degree. Now I have to try to get him to change that to some umpth degree. It is not going to be easy, yesterday, I saw so much of it. It is not about shutting them off, I can see that now, it is going to have to be how to redirect it to a different place.

I also now know what happened when I put my foot down. It is not going to be that easy. And they are going to fight it to the umpth degree unless I can help them redirect it. It is very fragile, I can see that now. If only I could show it to you, you would see what I am saying.
I talked to my mom who is 85 and fought it all her life, she got it, she sees it, and she tells me wow, yeah, I see it.

Think about what I am saying here, really think about it tell me what you see. You have to be honest here. I also have to be very honest about another opinion I have now. I don't think that any person who is obviously killing themselves with alcoholism should be allowed to do so, just as we try to intercept a person who is seriously contemplating suicide. I can only hope that someday we will know enough to see the potential before it happens. Some of these people have self esteem issues but, they can really be productive and live happy lives. Some of them are remarkabley intelligent and just need to be given the right direction. No, I didn't know what I was seeing in my child, but I did try to intercept it when I did see it. I can see it now that I know what it is, I can remember that 1 year old, yes 1 year old, that could say the whole alphabet to the umph degree. It was there all along, all the signs.

Open Eyes