So, I'm procrastinating with getting "ready" for a party I'm having that's supposed to start in an hour and a half.

My husband and I have "the" Mother's Day party every year for his sons and his ex-wife and her boyfriend and the middle son's wife and the two grandchildren. This year, the ex-wife's boyfriend's birthday is today so she's bringing a cake. Her birthday was a couple days ago and last week was the grandson's sixth. So, we're also celebrating three birthdays.

Did you notice me in there anywhere? I get along with all these people, made my DH get a birthday "gift" for his ex-wife and one for the boyfriend (they have lived together for 8-10 years, the grandchildren call him "grandpa _______" just as they call me "grandma ________") and they live out of town.

I just feel so weird; I'm not the "real" mother, feel a bit like a sham/fraud and am reminded of my wedding where I just sort of wandered around, not "there" but just waiting for the formalities to be over, hating being the center of attention, feeling like people were just being nice to me. I feel like the inverse of that situation, a ghost.