Thanks.. But a lot of the guilt doesn't come from me.. It comes from family and friends as well. There's always something that's my fault.. Even professionals have blamed me getting kicked out of a program when in fact most of it was the fault of my dad. Therapists and counselors just sat there letting me cry my eyes out and added to the problem by describing why it was my fault. Then they sent me home exclaiming how worried they were about me killing myself.. First they kicked me out of treatment, blamed me, got me in tears, even more depressed and tried to act like they cared if I died or not..

Because of this I was miserable for weeks until my social worker told me that it was mostly cause of the lack of contact between my parents and them, and it wasn't my fault really at all.. I don't know why a group of professionals working in a hospital with teens who are depressed would do that..

I don't know how not to put everything on myself when the entire world wants to manipulate me into taking the blame. You got beat up cause you didn't punch her back, they hurt you because you let yourself trust them.. You're failing in everything because you're emotionally weak and stupid.. This blame has been put on me for years.. I don't know how to think any other way?