Hi greenfairy! If your conversations with the other are real conversations (give and take) then share with the other how you need them to support and encourage you...and maybe offer suggestions on how you would best like to hear that (what words, phrases.)

It's good to have someone in our corner rooting us on, it's not good to have someone who sits in judgment and demeans us. Only you can make that determination in this relationship, imo.

Since you've shared so much, maybe that is part of your panic. This person now feels like they could be a threat to you, with all that information? That could cause panic, imo.

Making ourselves better people is a lifelong goal. Be patient with yourself. Write down your goals, and watch yourself check them off as you go... I'll bet you'll find you've already come a long way! TC