hi feary,

i would start by challenging the negative thoughts, there seem to be a lot of them. There is much in the way of your circumstances that you can change too in order to start feeling better about yourself. I am fat too but I'm working on changing that by going to the gym (walking will also work). But people are already commenting on how I am carrying myself differently. Figure out the things you can change and work on changing them little by little. You have to fight the depression or it will overwhelm you. I wish you the best.

Love and hugs,
Tara