today I feel very blah. Last night I found myself dreading hearing the phone ring-the opposite of my usual checking the phone every 15 min to see if he had called, so I know I have made progress, but I just do not feel like talking to him ever again. I feel a bit led on that he knew from the start of our relatiionship that he was leaving in a year and he NEVER said anything to me. He even admitted that he was biding his time with me. Now I am just sad that I let myself start to have feelings for him when he is not able to have any joy in life. Not that I am going to cry over him or beg him to stay with me, just the opposite cause I know he was making me crazy, but I am just tired of putting energy into a guy and not getting anything back. While part of me wants to date again the thought of having a physical relationship with a guy makes me cringe and want to hide under my desk. I am exhausted and need a vacation from emotionally draining people.