I feel like I'm on a seesaw and can't get off...like some older kid is pushing it up and down, faster and faster and won't stop. (I thought that this was more clever than the rollercoaster metaphor).

There are some days that I want to ignore the world, curl up in a ball and cry. One day last week, I was just sitting in my room, listening to music, and I started crying, for no reason! Other days, I get a lot done and I'm feeling pretty good. Of course, I can switch at any given point in the day as well, so I never know what's coming.

Over the weekend, my ups and downs seemed never ending. At one point I would be uber talkative and laughing, at another, irritable as all get out, and then later, tired, no energy or motivation to do anything.

Oh, and not only this, but my anxiety has been high as well...

It's driving me crazy!

I've been thinking about calling my pdoc and asking for a med raise since aren't meds supposed to stop you from being all over the place(?)...but I don't know what I should say, and I have phone anxiety so that's a big problem etc.

I'm going home on Friday, and I made an appointment with my psychologist at home for next Tuesday...so I am trying to do what I can to help.

It's just a) annoying and b) not good because in 5 weeks, I'm going to work at a summer camp that I've never been to, don't know anyone at, and is in the middle of nowhere, about 4 hours from home...and I can't be like this when I'm there. I just can't.