It sounds like this guy is trying to mold you. There is only one person you need to change for and that is yourself. You are trying your best and if that's not good enough for this guy, tell him that!

No, you don't have to leave him, but you do need to tell him how you're feeling about all his checklists and all that. Sorry that you have to put up with all this on top of everything you're dealing with.

Try to hang in there for now.