The pain of loss is so hard to deal with and so overwhelming... I've been there too. Maybe you couldn't speak at your session BECAUSE there was so much to say, it was like, where to start? There was just so much! I do hope you will try writing things out or something. Maybe you can make a collage? Or try writing a note, drawing a picture, some alternative to speaking, that will maybe enable the words to come out easier the next time you go see your T? I am so sorry its so hard.