Hello, Tara. I ask my familiar query: Is professional help an option for you?

http://www.lifescript.com/Soul/Self/...nment.aspx?p=1
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...in-abandonment
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...e-do-i-go-here
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-healing-begin
http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...ady-be-reading
http://helpguide.org/mental/child_ab...al_neglect.htm
http://helpguide.org/mental/mental_emotional_health.htm

Good luck.