20 years is a LONG time to waste. It's most of my lifetime in fact.

There must have been something there at first which made you GET MARRIED and live together for 2 decades. And that something deserves the respect of being addressed and considered before you jump into something with another man.

Sure, men get sloppy and relationships cool over time. But your husband is making an EFFORT to show you he does care. Get a counsellor before you fk things up royally.