Hi littleyellowspider,

I would start by working on changing your thoughts. Change "I can't do this" into "I will atleast try to do this" something simple. Define what happiness is for you so you're not shooting for some ambiguous goal. Go to any lengths for reprieve like for me I spent some money and got a nintendo 64 so when i wake up at night i play a little mario kart before going back to sleep. You have to be willing to fight the negativity that comes with depression. That is the only way that i have found to get any reprieve apart from meds. Changing my thought patterns has meant long term recovery instead of the shorter months that I used to get.

Many love and hugs,
Tara