So here's my situation.
I'm currently on two probations. One misdemeanor DUI the other felony drug possession, the charges are both 4 years old now. I had hit a point of depression so bad that I was going to take my life and had left to Las Vegas to do so, is why these are so old and just now being taken care of. I did turn myself in to the authorities in Las Vegas to come back and take care of this. There was a third probation, for another DUI, that I successfully completed last week in another city.

Tomorrow I have to go to court because the probation officer (PO) filed for a revocation on the grounds that I had missed one appointment/court appearance (I was still doing community service at the time and had to report to the court on that until it was completed) because I was terribly sick, and hadn't completed a DUI victims panel, that was scheduled to happen the week after he filed.

In the process this PO decided to take advantage of being in front of the judge and misrepresent me to the prosecutor as having expressed that 'I don't need mental health treatment' and that I wasn't being compliant with the order of probation to continue with services. Regardless of the fact that I had been providing him with monthly reports from a counselor that I was seeing (the PO kept telling me that those reports were not what he needed) and that I am the one that since the beginning of my turning myself in have pushed to be able to continue mental health services to continue to get well as I had been doing for the 3 previous years in Las Vegas.

All of this started with him because I shared with him a request from my county probation officer that I go to check out one program offered for those with dual-diagnosis. I did check out the program and as it turned out it wasn't something for me. Even with the charges I don't have an issue of drug or alcohol abuse, but it being a symptom of my PTSD or a very poor attempt at coping with extreme high levels of anxiety and near suicidal depression. Well I told him that it wasn't program for me, and he turned around and tried to tell me that if my other probation officer sent me down there she meant for me to attend it, regardless that this is all after the fact and I've already reported back to the other probation officer (also that he was not in any way privy to the conversation other than my telling him about it, as he is not in contact with the other officer because he chooses not to be). Well he continued to try to press the issue and I had to tell him that for me to go ahead apply for the program and get involved would be a violation of the law as it would end up causing misuse of the state grant funding for the program. He didn't know what to say, left the office and a few minutes later came back and all he could say was that he'd never had anyone tell him before about misuse of grant funding and moved on with the conversation.

So this whole situation is all because of his ego being hurt, and for the last few months I've been crippled. Not being able to sleep regularly at all, no desire to do the things I need to do for myself (I've forced myself to do what I need to).. and basically today the only stressor I have that causes this level of anxiety.. is him.

Hopefully the documentation I have will be enough to ensure the Judge that these allegations are incorrect and that I am doing to doing my best to do what I can with what is available to me here to continue with getting well.

I'm seriously considering after court filing a grievance on this probation officer for all of this, but I have another year of probation to go and am greatly concerned that to do so will only cause me more grief in the end.

Can't sleep, and not sure what to do at this point...
Dave