I lost what I thought was a close friend due to severe anxiety about 8 months ago. Anxiety on my part of course. He was the first person who accepted me for who I am. And it turned into a courtship. He didn't care that I was in therapy, that I took meds, and I THOUGHT he didn't care that I had social anxiety but I guess I was wrong on that part. He wanted me to hang out with his friends who I was totally nervous around all the time and go to his shows (he was in a band). I was not a good girlfriend to him, I was too anxious to go to his shows and this is when I was ON medication. I think maybe therapy wasn't working, she wasn't getting it. And so we broke up. I was so sad and still am because I haven't found someone who accepts me for who I am since then. I have found ppl who I have been interested in being frineds with at work, but they don't seem to want to carry anything on outside of work. And I'm too scared to ask them to do something. There is this one girl actually, but she's married and has a life of her own. I think she might be flattered that I asked but I don't know what she will say. Plus I'm afraid she will tell ppl and they will think I'm needy. I know, I'm catastrophizing. I wish I had someone to do things with and be around to hang out with me. I would do anything with someone if it was the right person and I felt comfortable. Well not anything. But ppl seem to think I'm this shy loser who sits in her house all day bc she's too scared to go out and it';s just not true. I can be fun. I'd go to a concert or on a road trip. That sounds fun to me. Alright, enough rambling. I wasn't sure whether to put this in the grief section, if there even is one, but I thought depression sounded appropriate.