I have a BPD and right now I have a big problem with threatening suicide, especially to this admin guy on another site.

Whenever I get upset, I start threatening suicide or self harm. It get pretty threatening and sometimes I'm scared for myself.

When I get upset I tend to do things without thinking...like send threatening emails to that admin guy.

I keep threatening and then later apologizing. How do I help myself? How do I stop being so upset and impulsive?