Avoice-
No worries, I told him to move on and that I wasn't interested a few days ago. I guess its the price paid for having an ED. Truth is, I'm really not interested. I want to be. But I just can't have that much pressure on me, I can't allow anyone close enough to me to see just how real and crazy this thing makes me. As far as getting back into the ED, I haven't eaten anything for a week or so. I'm going to lunch with a friend today for her birthday so I imagine ill eat something then. I won't purge, but it'll set in motion another week of making up for my mistake of eating. its frustrating, my dietician tells me I know exactly how to eat right, and I do. I don't eat like a normal healthy person because I'm so afraid of gaining weight, of not losing weight, and giving this thing up. I know what I do is dangerous but everytime I think of the risk, I just figure the benefits out weigh it. And I guess I'm depressed cause I figure if it kills me, I don't have to fight anymore. Its hard to wake up everyday knowing your fighting for your life. I'm tired. So the easy way is to give in to what I know.