Met with T this morning and talked about the whole "Dad Affair." She's of the opinion that me calling him is my "little boy ego state" still trying to be loved by this man. And that until I realize that for whatever reasons that block him, that ain't happenin'. Never did - still isn't - may never. She suggested that I "try on" the concept of "just staying with the pain" of not being met. That as long as I pursue his love, I will continue to experience the frustration, anger, sadness I feel with him. But maybe by just ACCEPTING the fact that love isn't available, I may get to the point where I can MORN it.... Tough pill to swallow, but I get it. Does this familiar to anybody?? Feels right. Resinated with me when she said it. But it still makes me terribly sad.