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Greenleaves said:
I'm really really upset. I'm upset. I feel bad. I feel really really bad. It feels horrible. I hate being this upset. I don't like being upset. I'm upset. I want to feel better again. How do I feel better again.

I'm really really upset. I'm upset. I'm upset. I'm upset. I'm upset. I'm upset. I'm upset. I'm upset. I can't stand being upset. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. I can't stand being upset.

I'm upset. I'm very upset. I hate this so much. I can't deal with this. I'm upset. I'm upset. I'm upset.

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OK. You've expressed something you're feeling. Is that helping to release some of it? Or are you ruminating on it so that it keeps you wound up?

GL, I do care what happens to you. I do care how you feel. And I do care if you want to die.

But you know what else? You really don't need to get so worked up in order to get attention, and you don't need to get so worked up in order to come here and ask for some support because you're feeling bad. I've mentioned this before, GL, that I think you've learned that the only way to get attention or support is to be over teh top -- as if you never got attention from your parents until you had a tantrum. Well, you're an adult now, and that's no longer true. Time to start learning a new way of approaching your need for support, right?

Mostly, people are willing to be supportive and sympathic if you say, "You know, this hurt my feelings." You don't have to be too hysterical to type in order to get sympathy and support. The real benefit for you, though, is that you won't have to go through all the pain you put yourself through by getting so hysterical.

Now, I do know what's upsetting you right now, and I can understand why it might hurt your feelings, but keep in mind that no one outside yourself is responsible for your feelings. That really is one of the very hardest lessons for most people to learn, so it isn't surprising that you are having trouble learning it. It doesn't sound as though you've had much help from your parents in learning to grow up, so you've got to learn now, on your own, and that's hardest of all. But you've got a place where people will support you as you learn. Please work on taking advantage of it, by practicing what happens when you post here, "Something ahppened tonight that really hurt my feelings. I don't know how t handle it, and find I'm thinking people don't care about me." See what happens, maybe you'll get the kind of support that you're looking for, and maybe that will help you some the next time something ahppens.

And GL? Are you still taking your medication? You know that it helps a lot when you're feeling like this. If you're not, please take it. Pretty much everyone has said that it helps you, and I think that you actually know it does.